A follow up to the first one allowing a bit more freedom.
A sadistic game where you inflict pain on a ragdoll with spikes, razors, chainsaws and more.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
100 Ways to say no
101 Easy Ways To Say No
I'd love to, but...
1 I have to floss my cat.
2 I've dedicated my life to linguini.
3 I want to spend more time with my blender.
4 the President said he might drop in.
5 the man on television told me to stay tuned.
6 I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
8 it's my parakeet's bowling night.
9 it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
10 I'm building a pig from a kit.
11 I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
12 I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
13 there's a disturbance in the Force.
14 I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
15 I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
16 I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
17 I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
18 I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.
19 I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
20 my crayons all melted together.
21 I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
22 I'm in training to be a household pest.
23 I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
24 my patent is pending.
25 I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
26 I'm sandblasting my oven.
27 I'm worried about my vertical hold.
28 I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
29 I'm being deported.
30 the grunion are running.
31 I'll be looking for a parking space.
32 my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
33 the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
34 I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
35 I have to fluff my shower cap.
36 I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
37 I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
38 I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
39 my plot to take over the world is thickening.
40 I have to fulfill my potential.
41 I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
42 it's too close to the turn of the century.
43 I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
44 my subconscious says no.
45 I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
46 I left my body in my other clothes.
47 the last time I went, I never came back.
48 I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
49 I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
50 none of my socks match.
51 I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
52 I'm having all my plants neutered.
53 people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
54 I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
55 I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My
Refrigerator."
56 I'm attending a perfume convention as quest sniffer.
57 my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
58 I'm touring China with a wok band.
59 my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
60 I never go out on days that end in "Y".
61 my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
62 I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
named Basil Metabolism.
63 I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I
can't put it down.
64 I'm too old/young for that stuff.
65 I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
66 I have too much guilt.
67 there are important world issues that need worrying about.
68 I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
69 I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
70 I promised to help a frend fold road maps.
71 I feel a song coming on.
72 I'm trying to be less popular.
73 my bathroom tiles need grouting.
74 I have to bleach my hare.
75 I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
76 I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
77 you know how we psychos are.
78 my favorite commercial is on TV.
79 I have to study for a blood test.
80 I'm gong to be old someday.
81 I've been traded to Cincinnati.
82 I'm observing National Apathy Week.
83 I have to rotate my crops.
84 my uncle escaped again.
85 I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
86 I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
87 I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
88 I have to go to court for kitty littering.
89 I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
90 I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
91 having fun gives me prickly heat.
92 I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is
looking for me.
93 I have to jog my memory.
94 my palm reader advised against it.
95 my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
96 I have to stay home and see if I snore.
97 I prefer to remain an enigma.
98 I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
99 I have to sit up with a sick ant.
100 I'm trying to cut down.
Thanks to Totse.com
110 Dumb Blonde Jokes
1. Why don't Blondes eat pickles?
Because they get their head stuck in the jar.
2. Why do Blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
3. Why don't Blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't fit 8 cups of water in that little package.
4. What do Blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
5. Why do Blondes like tilt-steering?
More head room.
6. How does a Blond turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
7. What do Blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs, they're screwed.
8. What's the mating call of the Blonde?
I think I'm getting drunk!
9. What's the mating call of the Brunette?
Is that damned Blonde gone yet?
10. Why did the Blonde write TGIF on her shoes?
Toes Go In First.
11. Why do Blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
That's where you wash vegetables, isn't it?
12. What's the advantage of being married to a Blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.
13. What does a Blonde do first thing in the morning?
She goes home.
14. Why does a Blonde put fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her neck warm.
15. Why did the Blonde cross the road?
Never mind that - What's she doing out of the kitchen?
16. How do you make a Blonde laugh on Monday morning?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
17. What do you call a Brunette sitting between two Blondes?
An interpreter.
18. If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off a building at the same
time, who lands first?
The Brunette: the Blonde had to stop and ask directions.
19. A dumb Blonde, a smart Blonde and Santa Claus are walking
down the street. They see a dollar bill. Who picks it up
first?
The dumb Blonde. The other 2 don't exist.
20. What do you call a blonde with a flat chest?
Lonely!
21. Two Blondes were out walking when they came upon some tracks.
The first Blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks". The
second Blonde said, "No, they look like moose tracks". They
were still standing there arguing when the train hit them.
22. Why don't Blondes wear hoop earrings?
They keep getting their high heels caught in them.
23. What do peroxide Blondes and 747's have in common?
Black boxes.
24. What do Blondes and beer bottles have in common.
They're both empty from the neck up.
25. What is the only job a Blonde can do in an M&M factory?
Proof reading.
26. Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For eating all the W's.
27. How do you keep a Blonde secretary busy?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical
order.
28. Why don't Blondes get coffee breaks.
It takes too long to retrain them.
29. What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
30. How do you give a Blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear.
31. How do you kill a Blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
32. How do you make a Blondes eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
33. What do you call a zit on a Blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
34. How can you tell when a Blonde has used your word processor?
By all the white out on the screen.
35. What do you call a Blonde with a buck on her head?
All you can eat for under a dollar.
36. What did the Blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
37. How is a Blonde like spaghetti?
They both squirm when you eat them.
38. How is a Blonde different from a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.
39. What's the difference between a Blonde and a Limousine?
Not everyone has been in a limo.
40. Why does a Blonde fan her face?
To recharge (her air supply)
41. What does a Blonde say when she finds she's pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
42. Why did the Blonde climb the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
43. What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last years hide and seek champ.
44. What do you call 6 dumb blondes standing closely side-by-side?
A wind tunnel.
45. What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
46. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
47. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.
48. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
49. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
Artificial Intelligence.
50. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in a handicapped zone.
51. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(rock head side to side) I dunno!
52. How do you kll a blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
53. Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
They can't fit two cups of water in the little boxes.
54. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
55. Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
56. What is the mating call of the brunette?
"All the blondes have left!"
57. What's the mating call of the redhead?
"Next!"
58. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
attractive?
Her ankles.
59. What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
60. What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Introduces herself.
61. What's the second thing a blonde does in the morning?
Walks home.
62. What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
Opens the car door.
63. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
64. Why do blondes have more fun?
They don't know any better.
65. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
66. What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
You don't know how much either means to you until they go down
on you.
67. Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They can't dial the 'eleven' in 911.
68. What did the blonde say when asked "ever been picked up by the
fuzz?"
"No, but I've been swung around by the tits."
69. Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
Who cares?
70. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
71. How does a blonde like her eggs?
Unfertilized.
72. Why did the blonde only change her baby's diapers monthly?
The box said "For 20 pounds."
73. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
"I said....I'M DRUNK!"
74. How does a blonde part her hair?
By doing the splits.
75. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.
76. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.
77. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
78. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
79. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
80. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
81. How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.
82. Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6
months?
The box said "2-4 years."
83. What do you say to a blonde with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits!"
84. How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
85. Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
When they do the splits they stick to the floor.
86. Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
87. How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
69 interrupted by a period.
88. How do you brainwash a blonde?
Giver her a douche and shake her upside-down.
89. What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
90. Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come
home?
It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV
set.
91. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
92. What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
"Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"
93. What's the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
The blonde!
94. How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.
95. What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
Bucket seats.
96. What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.
97. What important question does a blonde ask her mate before sex?
"By the hour, or flat rate?"
98. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.
99. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
To cover up the valve stem.
100. Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.
101. How do you get a blonde pregnant?
Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
102. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
103. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
104. What is a blonde's favorite rock group?
Air Supply
105. Why does a blonde take the pill?
So she knows what day it is.
106. What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
107. Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
Her boyfriend's blond too.
108. What do blondes and cow patties have in common?
The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
109. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
exclaims:
"Oh no, not another breathanalyzer test!"
110. This well endowed blonde walks into the doctor's office for a
routine exam and the doctor tell's her to go into the exam room
and take off all of her clothes. She does, and he comes in
later, strips off his clothes, and runs towards her. She moves
and WHAM! he runs into the wall. She says, "DOCTOR BENNET!"
and he says, "Bend it, Hell! Broke it!"
tee hee :)
Because they get their head stuck in the jar.
2. Why do Blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
3. Why don't Blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't fit 8 cups of water in that little package.
4. What do Blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
5. Why do Blondes like tilt-steering?
More head room.
6. How does a Blond turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
7. What do Blondes and turtles have in common?
Once they're on their backs, they're screwed.
8. What's the mating call of the Blonde?
I think I'm getting drunk!
9. What's the mating call of the Brunette?
Is that damned Blonde gone yet?
10. Why did the Blonde write TGIF on her shoes?
Toes Go In First.
11. Why do Blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
That's where you wash vegetables, isn't it?
12. What's the advantage of being married to a Blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.
13. What does a Blonde do first thing in the morning?
She goes home.
14. Why does a Blonde put fur on the hem of her dress?
To keep her neck warm.
15. Why did the Blonde cross the road?
Never mind that - What's she doing out of the kitchen?
16. How do you make a Blonde laugh on Monday morning?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
17. What do you call a Brunette sitting between two Blondes?
An interpreter.
18. If a Blonde and a Brunette jump off a building at the same
time, who lands first?
The Brunette: the Blonde had to stop and ask directions.
19. A dumb Blonde, a smart Blonde and Santa Claus are walking
down the street. They see a dollar bill. Who picks it up
first?
The dumb Blonde. The other 2 don't exist.
20. What do you call a blonde with a flat chest?
Lonely!
21. Two Blondes were out walking when they came upon some tracks.
The first Blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks". The
second Blonde said, "No, they look like moose tracks". They
were still standing there arguing when the train hit them.
22. Why don't Blondes wear hoop earrings?
They keep getting their high heels caught in them.
23. What do peroxide Blondes and 747's have in common?
Black boxes.
24. What do Blondes and beer bottles have in common.
They're both empty from the neck up.
25. What is the only job a Blonde can do in an M&M factory?
Proof reading.
26. Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For eating all the W's.
27. How do you keep a Blonde secretary busy?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical
order.
28. Why don't Blondes get coffee breaks.
It takes too long to retrain them.
29. What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
30. How do you give a Blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear.
31. How do you kill a Blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
32. How do you make a Blondes eyes sparkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
33. What do you call a zit on a Blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
34. How can you tell when a Blonde has used your word processor?
By all the white out on the screen.
35. What do you call a Blonde with a buck on her head?
All you can eat for under a dollar.
36. What did the Blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot.
37. How is a Blonde like spaghetti?
They both squirm when you eat them.
38. How is a Blonde different from a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.
39. What's the difference between a Blonde and a Limousine?
Not everyone has been in a limo.
40. Why does a Blonde fan her face?
To recharge (her air supply)
41. What does a Blonde say when she finds she's pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
42. Why did the Blonde climb the chain link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
43. What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last years hide and seek champ.
44. What do you call 6 dumb blondes standing closely side-by-side?
A wind tunnel.
45. What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
46. Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
It kept falling out.
47. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
They chip their teeth.
48. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted!
49. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
Artificial Intelligence.
50. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in a handicapped zone.
51. Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
(rock head side to side) I dunno!
52. How do you kll a blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
53. Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
They can't fit two cups of water in the little boxes.
54. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop.
55. Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
56. What is the mating call of the brunette?
"All the blondes have left!"
57. What's the mating call of the redhead?
"Next!"
58. What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more
attractive?
Her ankles.
59. What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
"Have another beer."
60. What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
Introduces herself.
61. What's the second thing a blonde does in the morning?
Walks home.
62. What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
Opens the car door.
63. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
64. Why do blondes have more fun?
They don't know any better.
65. What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to punch information into a computer once.
66. What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
You don't know how much either means to you until they go down
on you.
67. Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
They can't dial the 'eleven' in 911.
68. What did the blonde say when asked "ever been picked up by the
fuzz?"
"No, but I've been swung around by the tits."
69. Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
Who cares?
70. How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
71. How does a blonde like her eggs?
Unfertilized.
72. Why did the blonde only change her baby's diapers monthly?
The box said "For 20 pounds."
73. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
"I said....I'M DRUNK!"
74. How does a blonde part her hair?
By doing the splits.
75. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.
76. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Tits Go In Front.
77. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
78. How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
79. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
80. What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
81. How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.
82. Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6
months?
The box said "2-4 years."
83. What do you say to a blonde with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits!"
84. How does a blonde high-5?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
85. Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
When they do the splits they stick to the floor.
86. Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
87. How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
69 interrupted by a period.
88. How do you brainwash a blonde?
Giver her a douche and shake her upside-down.
89. What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
90. Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come
home?
It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV
set.
91. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
92. What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
"Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"
93. What's the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
The blonde!
94. How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots?
Flattered.
95. What is the worst thing about sex with a blonde?
Bucket seats.
96. What do blondes do for foreplay?
Remove their underwear.
97. What important question does a blonde ask her mate before sex?
"By the hour, or flat rate?"
98. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
Frosted Flakes.
99. Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
To cover up the valve stem.
100. Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.
101. How do you get a blonde pregnant?
Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
102. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been spotted.
103. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A Space Invader.
104. What is a blonde's favorite rock group?
Air Supply
105. Why does a blonde take the pill?
So she knows what day it is.
106. What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
107. Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
Her boyfriend's blond too.
108. What do blondes and cow patties have in common?
The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
109. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh, duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
exclaims:
"Oh no, not another breathanalyzer test!"
110. This well endowed blonde walks into the doctor's office for a
routine exam and the doctor tell's her to go into the exam room
and take off all of her clothes. She does, and he comes in
later, strips off his clothes, and runs towards her. She moves
and WHAM! he runs into the wall. She says, "DOCTOR BENNET!"
and he says, "Bend it, Hell! Broke it!"
tee hee :)
How to destroy a mailbox
How to destroy a Mailbox
NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
One of the greatest ways to get back at kids that suck is to destroy their mailbox. There are many ways of doing this, you really need a car to get away fast because this is a federal offense, and a bad idea.
One funny thing to do to those plastic newspaper mailboxes is to light them on fire. Do this by taking a ciggarette lighter, making it so the flame is big, and holding it under the mailbox until it catches.
Now for most mailboxes that are not plastic, you will need to make some Napalm or something to burn them. I reccomend Napalm because its basically more horrible gasoline. It sticks to the mailbox, and burns for a long time, and is hard to put out. Okay, to make napalm all you need is a jar three fourths of the way full of gaoline, and a lot of styrofoam. Simply dissolve chunks of styrofoam into the gas until it won't take anymore. Then let it sit for a day or too (not neccessary, but makes it better), and pour out the watery crap that comes to the top. Now you have some nasty shit. It should be like clear jelly, but you can't really go wrong with this so whatever you have is fine. Now take the napalm jar and go to your target. Bring a spoon or something if you want to spread it around the mailbox. Now either spread it around the mailbox, or dump the whole damn thing inside, or a combination of both. Alright, now in order to light this without getting burned, you will need your trusty ciggarete lighter, and a can of hairspray, AXE, WD40, ect. Get back a couple feet, and torch it till it lights. Incase your a real idiot, light the ligher and spray the can at it in whatever dirrection the mailbox is. If you want to make things even worse (better), get another can and put it inside the mailbox before you torch it. This will create a nasty explosion. Then, get the fuck out of there.
Another interesting thing to do is what we like to call the "frozen piss box". Now in the middle of winter you get some friends together at 3 AM and go to your target mailbox. Bring a baseball bat or 2. Beat the damn to the ground, drag it to the middle of the road, get everyone to piss on it, put some eggs on it, hell, shit on it, beat it up a bit more, and then put it back on its stand if you wish. Bring gloves for that part. Do this on a cold night so by moring it will be frozen shit gallor. The person will sure get a nice suprise.
Finally, the worst (best) thing you can possibly do. You will need a big bottle of hand sanitizer (the kind with alcohol in it), and your trusty ciggarette lighter. This is a beautiful thing to do. First, soak the mailbox with the hand sanitizer. Inside too if you wish. To make this work better, wrapp the whole mailbox in toilet paper first then soak it. Soak the whole damn thing, or this won't look as cool. When you light this you will have a beautfil blue glowing firery mailbox. It will burn for at least a few minutes, and longer if you use the toilet paper. This stuff could burn for up to an hour, it just depends. Alcohol is very fun stuff. Make sure you light fast and back off, because this gets pretty messy. Use the blow torch idea if you wish. If you don't have hand sanitzer then lighter fluid should work, but it will be harder to light and won't glue as blue. It will take way more. One thing to try is put some kid of dye like food coloring in your sanitzer to make a flame different colors. I'm not sure if this works or not. Anyway, before you drive off, make some huge noise to attract the victom outside, to make sure they see your beautiful creation with their mailbox. If not, some random driver will see it. If somehow nobody sees it until moring, the mailbox will either be fine and they will never know, or it will be black, depending on the type of paint. Most white paint will turn black.
Have fun with this. And do not get caught, take all precautions, because if you do, you are fucked.
^Thanks to Totse.com for the article.
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